Currently my heart is heavy with an honest look into the scars and hurts I have caused on others in the past. I can clearly see the effects that my actions have had on another soul—the weight is heavy. I cannot carry this burden, nor should I, but I know that it is my cross to bear during this present time.
I committed a sin on another that reopened a gaping wound that infected her heart. My former blindness towards the emotions of others created a rigid and sharp tongue that can be far more destructive than any forged weapon; furthermore, I equipped that weapon with a selfish pride and used it with no remorse, or second thought, and now I bear the weight of that one season. My stomach is churning for I cannot stand the actions of that man in past. I want to cry out to him, speak wisdom to him, and open his eyes to the pain that he is causing. I want to grab that terrified boy on the inside and show him a better way to work through the pain instead of focusing it on the girl of his dreams. Recklessly the boy shouts, screams, and hurls insults on the lover who is only trying to make him a better man, yet there is no way that selfish pride will yield to God’s perfect love and grace.
I cried so desperately for forgiveness moments ago, because before today I haven’t seen the destructive weight that my words caused. I need to be forgiven; I must be acquitted by grace. Please, God, show me there is hope for my sins. I broke your commandment by leading one of your children into sin. Now her heart is more calloused than ever before, and she is skeptical of your healing power. Can I have grace cover me, because I desperately need it to heal her heart? I need You to mend those shattered pieces of her soul into something beautiful You can use.
